As the stress and dashed dreams of the last year was finally making space for a bright new future of possibilities, the reality was far from the landscapes woven together by the fabrics of the mind.
When it struck, blinding me with anxiety, so strong I had nowhere to turn to, not a pair of understanding eyes, I feared would disappoint, only had the company of two hearts with empathy, so kind.
Depression, the dark and dry tears became my confidants, struggling to keep my head above the heavy waves of dread, swirling around my brain, drowning me.
As I sensed the dark decapitating me , inch by inch, I fought within myself, to find the courage , to find my voice , my strength to stand up against the dark, to bring myself back into the light ,to see.
As I broke through the strongholds of those, mental chains holding me down, a huge sense of relief was found, a weight off my shoulders lifted, and I breathed.
But alas, the satisfaction was momentary, as another burden from the society rolled off onto my shoulders so young and frail, a responsibility so colossal, I felt a sword from my heart unsheathed.
Prepared I was not, to undertake the mammoth of the obligations, when the world was speaking of age and my time left on the doomed little blue speck on the universe.
For already, I have a love, brimming my heart, so forbidden to the world of blinded sheep; I do not have space left to accommodate another, but withholding the peace in system, my lips I will always purse.
I refuse the charges, on my current condition of my feet, ungrounded and dependant, so unlike my plans in which, I was a capable sophistication, experienced in the ways of life.
Tried soul searching for a while, but that seemed to be harder than everyone makes it sound and had nightmares of the earlier dread creeping back at night, as I fought against it, with my head, heart and strife.
Goals and aims, I had for many, and for many I had failed, enduring the spite of everyone around, I try to build, maybe a base structure, for my ruined confidence, respect and self love, which now lay as broken shards on the ground barren.
My mind finding solace in the aimless wanderings of my soul, just breathing in the fragrance of the moment, so pure and intoxicating, blocking away all the approaching fluctuations that may cause myself to worry and sadden.
And now as the cold came, a little too fast, I feel my bones grow old, skin withering, encompassing a weary mind and a pumping young heart, I wonder, why I feel like the future is bleak.
Tired of fighting within and without, time wearing out my soul, sitting here in the wispy weather of piercing winds, shining bells and snow, I contemplate my life, its significance to the cosmos, in terms of time, just a quarter of a streak.