Into this world, you carried me, my newborn lungs heaved in your arms, my tiny, tender limbs, flailing, pink.

As I choked on the amniotic fluid in my lungs, you held me close to your bosom, to your heart, forming our first link.

You said I was the most beautiful thing you have ever laid eyes upon, always been so proud of me, like no one else ever before,

The only one in whom I have seen strength, compassion, kindness, fire and love, all encompassed in one, like a goddess ,from the fabled lore.

As my young mind found comfort in your arms, your soothing words, and your bedtime stories, which, to this time, I still treasure,

inspiration is what I discovered, delicately ,secretly ,woven into your fabric of love you wrapped me in, my purest of leisure,

To endure what you did, to me, I cannot imagine, but I wish I could bear your pains, even for a moment, if I could,

if that means if you are happy, and  stay with me for a little more time, cross the skies and oceans ,I would.

You taught me life, values and everything in between, and I stand here right now, who I am, all because,

You loved me unconditionally, gave me hope when no one else did, my only win in this huge life of loss.

To wish for another life I did not, because you wouldn’t be there, to listen to my lame jokes, my problems, my everything.

Because I would miss that tinkling laughter, and most of all, your loving chides, the sound of your voice, and how, in my heart it sings,

Who would care for me the way you did, now that you are gone? I miss you very much, do you know?

I wanted to see you, but I really did, I know I was ungrateful, and it breaks my heart that I cannot go back in time,

Do what I couldn’t do, to see your face, to see you smile, eyes glistening, wisps of white hair floating, I would give a million dime.

I wasn’t even given a chance to say a  proper goodbye, and now I feel alone, left hanging, without so much, but a glance,

on my most cherished face, sadness, overwhelming, in my brain all those memories ,sweet and sour , prance.

The similarities we share, physically and emotionally, is a testimony of our immortal bond,

as I now search for you in the dark ,crying to sleep every night ,a skin of yearning, aching for your comfort and warmth , I have donned.

The only thing I know from now, is that I do not want to lose you, in life or death, before or after, whenever, whatsoever,

I want you to be a part of me, like always, forever.

My grandmother, my strength, my inspiration, my everything in life, passed away on 26 December 2014. I feel so lost without her. I love you Ammama, forever, always.