It has been 4 months and 10 days since the last time I laid eyes on you.

Your face glowing, your twinkling eyes encircled by dark circles of sleep deprivation, smiles you gave me, a few.

Four days after our third anniversary, which we, in midst of our daily bustle, forgot,

the magic, that spark, the increased tempo of our heart, the interest to converse ,seemed lost.

You have smiled more when you are surrounded by your friends, a delightful sight, to behold,

and with me, it is nothing more than a tense smile, and when I leave your clenched fists, unfold.

Why is it difficult for you to be with me in front of other eyes?

You say it’s to protect me, but I feel otherwise.

For me, we are betrothed, for you we are not,

And in this distance, I find my gut in a knot.

I have now started to doubt our bond, and let the past trouble me,

For I wonder whether the root of my uncertainty rests back in the history.

They claim the distance makes the heart grow fonder,

but as I sit 10,000 miles away from you, I begin to wonder,

Our foundation rock, our base, because certain things make sense while the others doesn’t.

The click,, our diminishing need of reassurance, sacrifices, all of those feelings, quiet pleasant.

But then, I sense that I am being taken for granted.

So this is the crucial slope from which we slide, up or down, slanted.

I pray whichever side we reach at the end, we both, let ourselves become stronger.

Because, as they say, distance does makes the heart grow fonder.

-It’s been 4 months and 10 days since I last saw him on Sept 16th 2014, and we have been in long distance ever since, and I am scared it will always be, and I am worried about it and our future together.

– This was written almost a year ago